Monsieur Robot and the elusive glasses

Hello beautiful readers! Can you see this? Able to read it ok? Well if you can that probably means you have excellent eyesight or a nice pair of glasses. I, have neither. So here it is, one man’s inspirational journey to find some nice spectacles.
As some of you might know Mademoiselle Robot has really nice glasses and when I saw hers, green with jealousy, I decided to get myself some new specs. Well, that and the fact that mine were broken. Laetitia’s glasses are the ultimate accessory, not only do they radically change your face but with the right hair and outfit they can have a huge impact on your look. Who doesn’t want an accessory like that?
So let’s start at the beginning. First of all you get an eye test. That bit was easy, I didn’t fail it and after this I was ready to choose my frames. The first pair I found were a gorgeous vintage pair of gold Gucci aviators. I didn’t find them in a vintage store but in an old opticians that had clearly had this pair on their shelf since the 1980’s. They were covered in a think layer of dust. I liked them because they reminded me of a certain style icon of mine – Jeffrey Dahmer. They weren’t quite right however because let’s face it, only a few people would appreciate this reference and the last thing I want is to be mistaken for a serial killer.
Next stop Tom Ford! Tom Ford’s glasses are stunning, the men in the ads wear his beautiful suits, with cravats and silk handkerchiefs in their pockets. Their glasses are statement pieces and fade into the background of the luscious fashion photography and immaculately coiffeured hairstyles they sport. On me however they just look stupid. Firstly my hair is a huge barrier when trying on glasses if my hair looks bad then I can’t even think about whether or not the glasses are nice. I think I might have hair dysmorphia – that must be a real illness right? Secondly I don’t look like a Tom Ford model (note from MR – YES HE DOES). The glasses just don’t work.
Next up are the Ray Bans, the Wayfarer doesn’t really suit me as sunglasses so for reading glasses it’s the same problem. There are some Dior Homme aviators which are pretty nice but I look too much like a cheap Giles Deacon lookalike in them. A similar but more sympathetic style come from a French designer called Bruno Chaussignand. The store that stocks this designer has cute little hand mirrors that you use to see yourself in the frames. Holding the mirror up I like what I see, they suit me, they’re not  too plain, theyre not too fancy. My partner is laughing though, I ask why – on the back of the hand mirror is a picture of Nana Mouskouri. A cruel joke. So that’s where it ends. I still have no glasses, I still can’t see. Hell, this might not even be a blog post, with my eyesight, it might be an email to my Mum…
Words by Warren Beckett aka Monsieur Robot