At the minute I’m in that difficult stage like when you’re growing your fringe out, and you have to walk around looking stupid for months until it gets to just the right length. It’s also, quite terrifyingly, unlike any other hairs I have on my body. Totally weird. I shampoo and condition it too. Doesn’t seem to do much, although I can list my five favourite conditioner flavours if you like?
So, I’m growing a beard! Only it’s so much more complicated than that. It’s not just a matter of stopping shaving. Actually it’s a total nightmare. It’s itchy, scratchy, painful, scruffy and, well, it looks a bit like a horse-hair wig. Stuck on my chin. Of course it’s a bit of a test too, Can I really grow one? Will it look any good? Who knows.
T-shirt – Actual Pain c/o StreetCasuals
Glasses – Moscot
I have a few more weeks to go before I’m allowed to think about shaving it off (Dr. Handsome’s orders) so there will be more complaints about if before then. Consider this an advance apology.
Hoodie – Fucking Awesome c/o StreetCasuals
As you can see I have tried to distract people from my beard my declaring that I am things that I am clearly not, via the slogans on my clothes. If you’re not the kind of person that people would generally describe as ‘fucking awesome’ you might want to think about buying a top that tells people you are. It pays for itself really.
Of course you could always spend your money on this set of beards on sticks from Etsy. That would save you a lot of trouble. Stay tuned for more beardwatch…
Words by Warren Beckett
Follow me @RobotMonsieur